Silver Lake
In Casbah Cafe on W Sunset Blvd, eating a huge bowl of spicy chicken soup with a slab of chicken meat in the middle, huge hunks of carrots, potato, onion and half a cob of corn. Surely this brew will cure any bugs that have jumped on board for my quick three-day excursion to LA. My body wants to know what the hell we are doing staying up till 3am New York time. By 9pm at night LA time, I'm feeling so loopy that I mistake my white rental car with blue Nevada plates for someone else's almost identical white car with California plates. I can't understand why the doors won't unlock until my eyes refocus on the Starbucks cup inside near the driver's seat and I realize it's not even my car. The outside of the Casbah borders on Hyperion Street, and a few slanted tables are set into the deep trellised shrubbery of jasmine, bougainvillea, and grape vines. A mural of seductive women peeks out from behind the vertical garden, and tiny white lights have been strung along the top of the trailing plants. It's a fragrant and ebullient environment. "Ah," says Neal Pollack, wearing a tight-fitted blue leather jacket and jeans, "we take it for granted. It can't mask the rotten stink that is LA." Inside, the cafe sells straw hats and silk brocade bedspreads, handmade dolls, and girls' silk dresses. Its Moroccan theme means a variety of teas, a generous selection of sweets including honey-glazed apricots, figs, and puddings. Seventies Brazilian music plays on the stereo lending the cavernous space an echo-y flashback to airier times.
Yoga at The Raven, Tony Guiliano, used to work at Still YogaStrip mall off RowenaSpa called The Raven; yoga room is off that, one open room, Anusara with guest appearances by Acro Yogis (look at schedule) IS it just that one room? what's his deal with the spa? Walk in through a covered wood walkway with rattan furniture and big tropical plants--bougainvillea, big broad palm leaves, low tiled tables. Feels very Asian. Like walking into a hotel in Bali? Malaysia? When I leave just after 8, it's sunset and "The Raven Spa" neon sign is on, a bright pink against the dark wood of the building and the river flashing headlights.Tony Guiliano, handsome Italian guy in blue canvas martial arts pants folded over at the waist, white tank top, and a mala of rudraksh and white crystal around his neck. Sits on slightly elevated stage with huge garlanded Ganesh in a circle behind him. I almost walk in the front door off the street smack into a room of yogis meditating in perfect posture--catch myself and re-route, as usual, I'm having timing and parking issues. A lot of dudes in this class; everyone seems to be in their late 30s, early 40s, Tony's peers, a good looking healthy lot. And they seems to know the principles of AnusaraI come in late, parking shenanigans, pay in a frenzy, changing hurriedly, slip in during OM and chanting kneel on my shins and when we're done unroll my mat. The class is small and Tony notices me, peeks out from behind a pillar, "Hi! What's your name?" I tell him. "Everyone, this is Joelle." Ah yes, the Anusara greeting, so embarrassing to me as a more private New Yorker. Even if the class wasn’t small Tony would probably call me out. He's friendly, verbal, tactile. He knows everyone's name, and gives lots of hands on adjustments and verbal encouragement during the class. Class begins and Tony comes over, "So it looks like you've done Anusara before?""A little. I've done a lot of yoga."He comes over many many times during the class. During my updog, "Beautiful, now bring the tops of your ears back. Beautiful alignment, beautiful earrings, just gorgeous. Okay, now take the top of your head down. Beautiful! Wow!" Tony gives a lot of compliments and gives me a lot of adjustments including putting his fingers on my tailbone to direct the action of my pelvis--an intimate action even for me to do on myself!-- grabbing my entire upper thigh close to my groin and rotating it inwards in splits pose, and putting his hands around my rib cage to show the necessary cinching action for a good handstand. It's a lot of physical attention, and part of me loves it and craves it. Tony's clearly a great guy, heart's in the right place. Another part of me wonders if this is how he treats every new student? Or is it just new female students? Or is it just me? When I'm in a reclined twist on my back and he's adjusting my neighbor we talk in whispers about Michele, my friend who recommended his class.
"Are you a cook, too?" He asks.
"I'm a writer; so is Michele!"
"She just took off didn't she?"
"Yeah, she's staying at my place."
"So do you live nearby?"
"I live in Brooklyn!"
"No way!" He looks disappointed.
"Do you know Dumbo--well you must--"
I interrupt him. I know what he's going to say. "I know that studio, I know Tara." I know he's going to mention Abhaya, a new Anusara studio in Brooklyn, "I'm good friends with her boyfriend."
In spite of the manhandling, and Tony's unstoppable positivity--which is overwhelming for a New Yorker who is used to more anonymity than notoriety--the practice is deep and clear and joyful, and I feel the stress of my jet lag, weird sleep, and too much pressure even out. I feel smooth and clear, even some joy in my heart. My final relaxation is not deep--my nervous system is still jumpy--but I feel great afterwards. In seated closing pose I felt my heart connected to Tony's. Sweet. Standing around in the small lobby changing area after class, someone asks about Tony’s wife. "She's here! She was in class! She's back from Hawaii!" Tony gets talking to me and his wife leaves. "See you at home, Tone." She's a very tall woman. A couple of other students are still hanging around to see how our conversation will unfold. I feel a bit like a celebrity myself, being treated with such interest.
Tony says to me, "I was all excited, I thought I was gonna get another excellent student. When you said Brooklyn I thought, oh no! She doesn't live here!"
Tony gives me about 10 hugs before I leave. “Listen, thanks for coming to class. So great to meet you! Michele is a sweetheart, awesome lady. Thanks for coming!"
"Thanks for all the assists. People rarely assist me anymore, and I miss it. I want to learn."
"Yeah you're in that weird place where you're clearly not a 911 case, and also you have a strong energy field, I could see it as soon as you walked into class, you're strong, which people might interpret as 'don't tell me what to do' kind of thing."
"You're probably right; I should be more proactive about making friends with my teachers, letting them know I want the help."
"Yeah, just say hey could you help me out with this or that. Because you have so much physical intelligence--I could just see it so clearly--people are probably thinking they should leave you alone. But let me tell you, 3-4 classes, learn some refinements, your whole practice could change, and open up."
Some other students talk to me after class. A woman around my age with long curly dark hair says, "As soon as you walked in I thought I knew you. I used to live in New York."
"Maybe it's from the New York yoga world?" I say not really believing it.
The truth is, all my adult life people have told me that I remind them of someone they know. Once a guy ran into a restaurant in New York where I was having dinner with an old friend, and exclaimed between the packed tables, "Wow I didn't know you were in town, how are you? How's everything?" And when he realized his mistake, he backed away awkwardly and ran out of the restaurant.
A sunburned guy asks if I've ever taken Kenneth's class. "I don't usually practice Anusara in New York," I say, but that seems inconceivable to him. "Me and my wife are good friends of his," he says like he was saying that Derek Jeter was a close personal friend. I'm at a loss, but appreciate that he wants to share this with me. He's proud and excited about his connection. "I'll have to keep my eye out for him."--Anusara community--heart centered--very American, very appealing after the rush and muscularity and celebrity of the Mother Ship yoga.
Kundalini--Golden Bridge
Moved Feb 14, 2011 from farther west in Hollywood when AMC (??) bought their building to make a museum (from DeLongpre and Vine) New building seems especially built for Kundalini, and they are the sort of organization that would fundraise like a church to built something special for themselves, dedicated parking lot, cheap prices--$3 for first 2 hours, $3 after that. Where the old space was cavernous, ramshackle, and kind of a wonderland of merchandise (books, clothes, props, weird misc things) the new space is compact: a small boutique, a thoughtfully constructed cafe, and a modest bookstore. The check in desk is in the center like a central panel. Bathrooms are unisex, many self-published titles, Yogi Bhajan--give history--Gurmukh--give history from the interview she gave at Omega in 2009--"I Am a Woman: Creative, Sacred, and Invincible" Kundalini by Yogi Bhajan, essential Kriyas for Women in the Aquarian Age. "Man to Man--A Journal of Discovery for the Conscious Man.” "Transitions to a Heart-Centered World.” "Relax & Renew"--"Sexuality & Spirituality" explicit directions on when and where and how to have sex ** GET THIS TITLE & INSERT INFO IN TANTRA CHAPTER AS CONTRAST? "The sex game must start 72 hours before sex, and somewhere outside of the bedroom. So, for 2-3 days in advance, prepare the mind, think it over, and build yourself up to it. The mind is the biggest sex organ in the human body. Sex is an attitude of love, when every cell ad part of the body is stimulated and awakened. In the days before, take time to do the Venus kriyas." Rules of thumb: open communication, empty stomach, man breathes through right nostril, woman breathes through left; 2-3 hours to play; massage various body parts: breasts, neck, lips, cheeks, ears, spine, thighs, calves, clit, vagina--also rules for after sex as well.
Framed poster in the boutique: SUTRAS FOR THE ACQUARIAN AGE 1. understand through compassion otherwise you will misunderstand the times 2. Recognize that the other person is you 3. when the time is on you start, and the pressure will be off 4. there's a way through every block 5. Vibrate the cosmos and the cosmos shall clear the path WHAT IS THE ACQUARIAN AGE? WHEN DID IT START? DID YOGI BHAJAN LIVE IN IT?
BOUTIQUE: aroma candles, soaps, oils, Buddha’s, incense, meditation cushions, white clothes for sale, cotton bags, men’s and women’s.
STUDIO: Can be separated into two studios--one door says Rishikesh, the other says Amri, retractable divider folded back, so we're in one huge room with a very high ceiling--wood beams and air ducts--raftered ceiling, dark wood floor, brick walls on three sides, and a removable fourth wall--large high stage--large gong on the right back, large illuminated orange crystal on the right front (salt?)--two bronze cow statues seated on floor beneath stage, bronze goddess (4 hands, two in prayer, two out to the side) crown, cross legged, btw the 2 cows)--framed prints of gods and goddess behind the stage and set into the brick wall by the door--also Krishna and Yogi Bhajan; also Govinda leading a flock of cows (pan figure)--good mix of men and women in the class, younger and older, one woman brought her son who looks about 7--a few people are wearing white: pants, shirt, and kerchief or turban, there's actually a black man beside me and the other newcomer beside me is a Korean man--about 25 people in class. Begin by chanting--very loud--OM NAMO GURU DEV NAMO x3--Motherly women in white dress, and turban with a jewel in the center and a string of clear beads, unlikely person to have a mixing board under her right hand (and a white Mac that she was DJing from )tells us about a guy who says after 13 years of not making it in LA he's moving to New York, Things go well and then they fall apart, they go well and then they fall apart. She says, I don't know what he should do, but I know when there's some unmovable obstacle that doesn't make sense that I can't solve, I ask for help from Ram Dass, give it up to the mysterious powers, and don't try to solve it yourself. Ask for help. Also, this morning a woman in class started feeling dizzy so she lay down, and couldn't get up, All class she couldn't get up, at the end of class she couldn't get up. So we called her husband and still she couldn’t get up, then the paramedics came. She was vomiting and in a terrible state and they don't know what's wrong with her. So she's been on my mind all day. She's got 4 kids and a sweet husband. I'd like to ask Ram Dass to help her, and you do the same. See her laughing, see her healthy, see her doing yoga with no issues.--that's how things are up and down, so this practice is going to strengthen your will, your solar plexus. It's strong, but then we’ll have a long break.--at the END much love to you, SAT NAM. Are you okay to drive? Be careful driving now.--CLASS--doing breath of fire (kapalabhati) (leg scissors, leg lifts, arm lifts slapping the floor, sitting up batting the air with our arms, cobras up and down (worry about hurting back), inclined plank up and down, head to knees with legs lifted (neck hurts), lift up and down thumping bum on the floor (exhausted my arms); on back, on belly, legs lifted, arms lifted up and down--do the actions for 3-5 minutes without stopping, brief break between--"Big shifts are coming in the next 10 years, get ready for what's coming, strengthen your nervous system, and get ready for those shifts."--all the time music--recorded by hypnotic voices, kind of sappy sounding, kind of sweet, good voices very simple arrangements that you can get lost in not musically but energetically--did they supercharge the tracks with vibrations?? like delta waves etc?--I'm EXHAUSTED by the end, really feeling like I don't have the strength to go one and THEN we have to do 1 1/2 minutes of push ups!! I just do baby pushups and not too many--finally we get a long rest--13 minutes on our bellies. My neck is super tense from the abs work (lifting head to knees) and all the arm raises.--At first thoughts are all over the place from the over stimulation physically, then they calm down and I "see" an image of Bradford as a boy and I embrace him into my heart. Mind: why are you still caring about Bradford as a boy? He betrayed you. Don't continue to mother him. I have such a feeling of him--wonder what he really looked like at 5, how smart and vulnerable he must have been, how I wish I could comfort that hurt and confused part of him, how I feel like I could do that, wish I could help him, Where does this image, this feeling coming from?!? Then I'm angry and talking to him at Peter’s saying "You let yourself off the hook too easily," just like that sharply in front of everyone and walking out of the room. I don't like your self-indulgence, you hurt me carelessly, and I'm still not okay with it. I pull myself back from this fantasy==be in the NOW==turn my attention back to the music again feel energy from my sacrum rising up--how much I want sex, how long it's been, how much I miss the physical comfort of sleeping with someone, pull myself back from THAT and try to focus on the music which is happening now, but my heart is still spilling open---tears, snot running out, can't breathe bc nose is filling up with gooey liquid, forehead on hands. This Kundalini stuff made me drop into the pain that's STILL in my heart --about Bradford specifically, and love generally---I've been running away from the last bits of this pain by diving into work--it gets so silent in the room that I wonder if everyone has gone. All I hear is the music, but no longer feel the presence of other bodies. I feel so disoriented from the sudden wave of emotion that I wonder if I've missed an instruction? How long have I been lying here struggling with myself? How much time has passed? More snot and tears come, I decide I don’t have to look up, I'll hear the instruction when it comes, I turn my head one way and then the other, and the tears run both ways down my cheeks and a puddle of snot is forming on the floor,--Come up to sit feeling messy, chant to Ram Dass to offer up unfathomable obstacles to the mysterious workings of the universe and ask for help from nonlogical sources--she instructs us to think of people in our lives who need our help, people who are in our care, and send them our prayer, tears are streaming down my face now as I think of how much I want to care for people, also seeing everyone’s struggle--David, Marisa, Phoebe, Lizza, James, Steph, Michele, Frances--the anonymous woman in class who could not get up and was taken to the hospital--singing to Ram Dass (this is the "meditation" part of the class)(who is he?)--swaying our bodies and chanting along, she turns the music up to guide us--then praying for people, praying for selves, singing SAT NAM--then announcements: 7-day cleanse, also workshop on strengthening selves so no more insecurity "People say this and that, they can't do things, they don't know what to do, but I think NO ! That's not who you truly are. Be yourself, you are strong, be bold about yourself."--she's motherly, straightforward, older, except she's wearing a white turban with a jewel stuck in the front, and she’s talking to the young men leaving the class like they are her sons.