Since It’s An Official No-No….Since it’s an official no-no to date your student (or, perhaps to date your teacher), this SF Chronicle story from the end of June is especially naughty, and a little bit delicious.
Though yoga instructor Laura Camp began on cue—saying no, no, no to that fluttery feeling she had when her future-hubby first came to class—it eventually got the better of her—and him.
“I had rules about not dating students,” she adds. “It was the first time in 15 years of teaching that I felt an ‘uh-oh.’ ”
Read the cute article here. It has all the fixin’s of a true-romance, including hedging, misunderstandings, dinner, making out, and a performance-art wedding.
On their first quasi-date: “… within minutes of his arrival at her home, the two were intertwined (and not in a yoga sort of way). Minutes later, Laura abruptly announced that Aaron had to leave. The suddenness of their intimacy was too much. Two days later, however, they were back together and have been so ever since.”
“Aaron: “We should have met years ago.”
Laura: “That’s my only regret.” ”
(For the other perspective (what can and does go wrong when romance flares) check out Ogden, the Inappropriate Yoga Guy. Yikes!)
in Culture.
It is a cute story, and I think she approached her dilemma with integrity and awareness, choosing to meet for their first date on “neutral turf.” The article doesn’t say whether or not he continued coming to her classes after they became romatically involved, and hopefully he didn’t. You can’t choose who you fall in love with, but there are ways of handling the situation with care and ethics – these two seem to have done that.
I’m not sure if it’s officially a “no-no” for yoga teachers to date students, but there are reasons it’s frowned upon. I’ve heard too many stories about teachers (usually male, and often famous/well-known) making inappropriate adjustments on students, pushing boundaries, or offering to spend time outside of class. I’ve also been in classes full of women with a male teacher, and listened to them all become giggly and adoring ~ it’s the kind of attention that can fuel anyone’s ego.
These kinds of ethical questions surface periodically in the yoga community, and it’s good to see them brought up again.
Yes, yoga or no yoga, human nature is not always as conscious as we’d like–or all that pretty to look at. I’ve noticed that women-adoring-male-teacher thing. Unfortunately it really seems to fuel a lot of egos–on both sides of the interaction.
But let’s hope stories like Laura’s can become more mainstream–people acting well and finding love!
It seems to me that what matters is how people go about it. I’ve known a number of teachers who’ve had their boyfriends or husbands in class–though these have generally been relationships that existed prior to the teacher-student relationship, and I’ve never had the sense that any inappropriate “adjustments” were going on (though one teacher’s husband behaved rather rudely toward her during class, which I don’t think would’ve happened if he were just another student). Otherwise, I think it depends on the nature of the teacher-student relationship. If you’ve been working intensely with your teacher for years and see him/her as your guru/spiritual guide/life coach, it would seem like a really bad idea, if not abuse. Otherwise, if there isn’t that kind of power dynamic, and things stay professional in class, I’d say it depends on the people involved…